Are You Too Embarrassed or Ashamed to See the Dentist?

It’s much more typical than you think.  You haven't been to the dentist in 7 years and even though you’re pretty sure you keep good dental hygiene, you've been having gum and jaw pain.  You’ve discovered what looks to be tooth decay especially in your back molars. You don't know what to do. 

You’re too embarrassed that you'll be judged or that the dentist will think wrong ideas of you.  You say to yourself: “My teeth are the worst the dentist has ever seen,” or “I feel guilty, ashamed, and I’m scared of ‘The Lecture’,” or “I’m worried that the dentist will berate me, humiliate me, or judge me.”

Research has confirmed what we’ve known all along: that “intense embarrassment due to poor dental status or perceived neglect, often with fear of negative social evaluation as chief complaint”, is extremely common among people suffering with dental phobia (Moore et al, 2004).

This is the vicious circle of dental phobia: whatever caused the phobia initially (be it painful or traumatic experiences, hurtful remarks, or something else) leads to avoidance, which in turn means no access to professional dental care, usually resulting in poorer oral health, and at some stage the results of this “neglect” are perceived to be so embarrassing that it’s totally impossible to see a dentist, even when in pain. If shame, embarrassment and guilt are keeping you away from seeing a dentist, you’ve got plenty of company!

Embarrassment is perhaps THE most common concern voiced by people who haven’t been to a dentist in a very long time. It may come as a surprise to some that the days when “the lecture” was part-and-parcel of a visit to the dentist are gone. Dentistry has evolved into an industry which supplies a service to the potential customer – you!

This development mirrors trends seen throughout society. The authoritarian parenting model which used to be so popular has fallen out of favor big-time, to be replaced by tender loving care and open communication. Similarly, dentists nowadays realize that admonishing people is a sure-fire way of keeping them away. Many dentists now endeavor to make dental appointments a positive experience, not only for those whose teeth are in great shape!

As always, beware – there may still be some old-school dentists around who see “lecturing” and negative remarks as a good way of frightening people into compliance. But this has become increasingly rare.

The psychology of embarrassment is pretty interesting. Studies, for example by sociologist Andre Modigliani, have shown that shy people with high levels of empathy – the ability to imagine how others may be feeling – can be more easily embarrassed.  Easy-to-embarrass people also have a tendency to believe that others see them as somehow inadequate.  Other factors which make a sense of shame and embarrassment so common when it comes to dental fear and phobia may include an emphasis on beauty and perfection in modern Western society and – dare I mention it – the fact that the mouth is a zone of sexual attraction.

It may help to know that from the dentist’s perspective, the situation looks very different. First, it’s highly unlikely that any dentist hasn’t seen teeth which are as bad or worse than yours.  We’ve seen everything.  We’ve been trained to help people who are experiencing problems with their teeth and gums – it’s their job to fix these problems. And a lot of dentists view their job as a caring profession – which is what it should be. 

Next, please be aware that teeth don’t fix themselves, and problems with the teeth and gums only get worse unless they’re treated.  This means that delay will not only cost you in terms of your smile and your wallet, it might actually cause a systemic infection, especially sepsis,  that could result in your death.

Finally, if you’re worried that extensive work means extensive cost, we have a great deal of experience in coming up with affordable treatment plans, stopping the worst from happening, and performing repairs in a methodical, logical and cost-effective way.

If you haven’t been to the dentist in a while, make an appointment or give us a call at 860-561-2121.  Our offices are conveniently located in West Hartford Center and in New Britain, CT.  Your teeth will probably not be as bad as you feared, and we’ll get you to have a smile you can be proud of once again.

Keep smiling,

Dr. Elzbieta W. Basil, DMD is a private practice dentist with offices in West Hartford Center and  New Britain, Connecticut.  She is a Clinical Instructor at the UConn School of Dental Medicine, and has won several awards naming her regional “Best Dentist” and “Top Dentist.” She is an active member of the Connecticut State Dental Association and the American Dental Association. Tel: 860-561-2121